My students used to think something was wrong with me when I had my hair in a messy bun at school.
I insisted on looking just so in my classroom because I wanted them to think I had it all together. Unsurprisingly, this leeched out into the rest of my world as well. I remember that whole season of my life as being one in which I was convinced that I needed to look perfect all the time.
That messy bun was reserved for the 20 minutes before I went to bed and the occasional lazy Saturday, and that was it.
Listen, having your hair styled all the time is fine. But it wasn’t fine for me because I wasn’t being real.
I was hustling my little butt off to make people think I had it all together, so that maybe in the end I might believe that too.
But times have changed, y’all. And guess who’s hair is in a messy bun as we speak?
Last year I dove back into reading Daring Greatly, which I had read once before but for very different reasons. I was about halfway through it when I realized I was too freakin’ tired to keep trying to look so perfect all the time. I’m a girly-girl to my core, so I really do love to style my hair, put on makeup, and my closet is stuffed with more dresses than any one human being needs. But I was in a brand new, very busy job. I was stressed and tired a lot of the time, and my social life was non-existent.
Looking professional and put-together in your work and in your life is great. But the standards I was holding myself to were RIDICULOUS. Like, geez girl, just put your hair up and get over it. You know?
A couple of weeks ago I met my sweet, incredibly talent photog friend Kailey to get shots of a few outfits I wanted to feature on the blog. I was far from being in the best shape at this photo shoot. I had just lost Ginnie, was about to start the busiest season of the year at my teaching job, and was sleep-deprived from being summoned in the middle of the night for the birth of my nephew the night before.
I was not feeling it. But we were there and it needed to get it done.
By the time I got to my last outfit I felt like I had been there for 3 hours instead of thirty minutes. It was windy, my last-minute curls were failing on me, and I just couldn’t bring myself to care.
So, I threw my hair up in my signature messy bun (tutorial here) and thought nothing of it, other than that my hair wouldn’t be as polished looking as I usually liked it to be.
And I went on with my life (and my shoot) and that was it.
That was IT.
I would NEVER have done that a year ago. I would have bought Kailey a mocha and then begged her to meet me again the next day so I could get my crap (and my curls) together.
But I’m not like that anymore. I embrace the messy bun. Why?
I’m not trying to convince anyone that I have it all together, because I finally admitted to myself that I don’t.
And you know what? These ended up being my favorite photos from the whole shoot.
Maybe you don’t need this reminder at all but if you do, girl, embrace your messy bun. Embrace that life is messy, and none of us have it all together.
Plus, I bet you look killer in that bun.
Have a fantastic weekend!